Your Journey from Pain to Power
The Rift With Rick
The Rift with Rick is a raw and honest space dedicated to survivors of narcissistic abuse and emotional trauma. Here, we walk together through the challenges, embracing imperfect healing and empowering you to reclaim your story and rewrite your life on your own terms.
About The Rift with Rick
MY JOURNEY THROUGH NARCISSISTIC ABUSE
My journey through narcissistic abuse didn't begin in adulthood. It began in childhood—before I even understood the word abuse.
Raised between my birthplace in the U.S. and my mother’s homeland, El Salvador, I had a father I barely knew, seeing him only a handful of times. My mother's love, however, was contingent on how well I made her look to others. Though I didn't know it then, she had narcissistic personality disorder. What I did know was this: love came with rules, a cost, and if I didn't perform, I disappeared.
She told me outright she had wanted a girl, not a boy. When others complimented me, she'd remind me that their praise wasn't about me—it was because of her. I was her extension, not her son. My emotions were inconvenient. My sensitivity was weakness. My achievements? Never enough. So, I learned early to excel, stay quiet, and self-parent. And I believed—deep down—that who I was would never be enough.
My family didn't see me. They labeled me "the rebellious one," different, dramatic. When I started breaking under the pressure, they blamed me. A therapist eventually urged me to distance myself from my mother for my well-being, but she had already been diagnosed with ALS. During that time, she passed away. In a cruel twist of denial, my family made me the villain in her death. They haven't spoken to me since.
That abandonment shattered me. I’d already felt invisible, now I felt disposable. Alone, exiled, and emotionally wrecked, I spiraled. The pain was unbearable. I attempted to end my life more than once, not because I wanted to die, but because I couldn’t see a way to live with the weight of so much rejection, confusion, and self-hate. Just when I thought I was putting the pieces back together, I met him. The man I believed was my best friend, my confidant, my emotional rescue. But it was a trap dressed in comfort. A connection that mimicked everything I thought was love. What began as care slowly mutated into manipulation, passive control, gaslighting, emotional dependency, destroying my life, my marriage, and eventually ending in physical violence.
He attacked me.
And for a moment, I believed he had broken me completely.
But he hadn’t.
Because something inside me snapped back. In the aftermath, I finally saw the pattern: different faces, the same wound. For the first time, I refused to repeat it. The healing wasn't graceful; it was gritty, lonely, humbling, and painful. But it was real, and I fought for it. Piece by piece, I rebuilt the man I was always meant to be—not the one I was told to become.
That’s when The Rift with Rick was born.
Not as therapy. Not for sympathy. But as a radical act of truth-telling.
A space where survivors can feel seen, heard, and no longer ashamed.
Because let me be clear: you can survive this.
You can rise from this.
And when you do—you won’t just be healed. You’ll be unshakable.
I am not who I used to be.
I am stronger. Clearer. Fierce in my self-worth.
And no one will ever take that from me again.
So, if you're reading this and you're in the middle of your own break—hear me:
This is not the end.
This is your becoming.
Welcome to The Rift with Rick.
Understanding Narcissistic Abuse In the LGBTQ+ Community
Defining Narcissistic Abuse
I want to talk about narcissistic abuse in the gay community. When we talk about narcissistic abuse, we often imagine the classic story: a toxic romantic partner who love-bombs, gaslights, controls, and then vanishes only to hoover you back in. But what happens when this story unfolds in the LGBTQ+ community, especially among gay men? What does it look like when the person who breaks you down also shares your struggles, your identity... or even your home?
The truth is: narcissistic abuse in the gay community is real and often overlooked. I hope this article will shine a light on this issue and help those of us who might be or have been subjected to this kind of abuse.
🧠 What Is Narcissistic Abuse?
Narcissistic abuse is a pattern of emotional manipulation, control, and psychological harm, typically used by someone with narcissistic traits or full blown-narcissistic personality disorder (NPD). The abuse may come in cycles starting with intense affection and attention (love bombing), followed by criticism, emotional withdrawal, and manipulation. You might experience:
- Gaslighting, triangulation, hot-and-cold cycles, and emotional blackmail are some of the techniques used by someone with narcissistic traits or full-blown NPD. These techniques are often used to manipulate, control, and psychologically harm their victims.
Narcissistic abuse in the gay community is a slow erosion of self that can feel especially disorienting when the person hurting you also claims to love you. This type of emotional manipulation is often seen in romantic relationships, but it can also happen in friendships, work relationships, or even family relationships. Narcissistic abuse can take many forms, but it is always damaging to the victim.
If you think that you are in a relationship with a narcissist, it is important to seek help from a professional. The healing process is long and difficult, and it is easier with professional guidance. If you are experiencing any of these red flags, it is important to reach out and talk to someone. Narcissistic abuse is real, and you are not alone.
The Many Faces of Narcissism in the LGBTQ+ Community
Because in our world, abuse doesn’t always look the way they told us it would.
It's time to discuss narcissistic abuse in the LGBTQ+ community.
As we know, narcissistic abuse doesn't discriminate. It shows up in queer spaces as often as anywhere else. However, in the LGBTQ+ community, it often wears a different mask: it may be more subtle, more glamorized, or even hidden under the weight of shared trauma or secrecy.
To truly understand and heal from narcissistic abuse as a queer person, especially if you've been gaslit into thinking "that's just how gay relationships are", you first have to see it for what it is.
So, let's break down the different types of narcissists and how they show up in LGBTQ+ relationships, friendships, and communities.
#lgbtq #narcissisticabuse #recovery
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A safe space for LGBTQ+ healing, support & truth-telling — led by Rick.