Healing Tools
Circle of Strength
Reconnect with your power. Rebuild your voice. Redefine your strength.
The Circle of Strength is your safe, affirming space to reconnect with yourself after narcissistic abuse. Here, you’ll find guided exercises, reflection prompts, and empowerment tools designed to help you:
- Rebuild the self-trust that manipulation tried to erase
- Strengthen your emotional boundaries
- Rediscover the confidence and freedom that belong to you
This is more than healing — this is coming home to yourself.
Self-Guided Tools
Worksheets, prompts, safety checklists.
Handling & Overcoming FOG (Fear, Obligation, and Guilt)
A Mini Self-Check: Am I in the FOG?
A Mini Self-Check: Am I in the FOG?
A Mini Self-Check: Am I in the FOG?
- Do I feel anxious if I don’t reply immediately—because they might blow up or sulk?
- Have I stopped seeing friends or changed venues to “keep the peace”?
- Do I justify cruel comments as “just how gay guys talk” or “dark humor”?
- Do I minimize threats of outing or smear campaigns as “empty talk”?
- Do apologies come with no sustained change?
- Do I feel more confused than cherished?
If you’re nodding “yes” to several, FOG may be present. That’s information—not a verdict—and you deserve support.
A 7-Day “FOG Detox” Starter Plan
A Mini Self-Check: Am I in the FOG?
A Mini Self-Check: Am I in the FOG?
Day 1: Write your FOG map (Fear/Obligation/Guilt phrases).
Day 2: Create a reality-check log entry for the last incident; screenshot or save evidence safely.
Day 3: Draft boundary scripts; practice aloud.
Day 4: Digital audit: change passwords, revoke location sharing, mute triggers.
Day 5: Identify three safe people and one safe place; share a code word for “I need help.”
Day 6: Research one LGBTQ+-affirming therapist or support group; send an inquiry.
Day 7: Plan one joy activity and one body-care step (walk, yoga, dance, sexual health checkup).
Repeat as needed; expand into a longer exit or recovery plan with support.
If You Decide to Stay (for now)
If You Decide to Stay (for now)
If You Decide to Stay (for now)
- Harm-reduction boundaries: separate finances, private device access, independent health care.
- Negotiated distance: scheduled time apart; clear rules around digital privacy.
- Change test: set 3 specific, observable behaviors with timelines. If they don’t sustain change, revisit your exit plan.
If You Decide to Leave
If You Decide to Stay (for now)
If You Decide to Stay (for now)
- Quietly execute your plan: move items in stages, inform allies day-of, choose a safe time to go.
- Aftercare: expect a crash. Line up support for the first 72 hours (meals, company, sleep).
- No-contact hygiene: don’t check their socials; block alternate accounts; brief mutuals kindly but firmly.
Guided Empowerment Exercises
Healing Guidelines
For Gay Men & LGBTQ+ Survivors of Narcissistic Abuse
By The Rift with Rick
1. Rediscover Your Inner Voice
Abuse makes us doubt our needs, boundaries, and worth. These exercises are designed to help you:
- Understand that what happened to you is not your fault.
- Give yourself permission to feel and express your truth.
- Begin journaling to separate your story from theirs.
2. Strength-Building Activities
Rebuild your emotional foundation step by step with LGBTQ+-affirming tools:
- Understand that what happened to you is not your fault.
- Give yourself permission to feel and express your truth.
- Begin journaling to separate your story from theirs.
3. Grounding & Emotional Regulation
Use simple techniques to bring yourself back into the present when anxiety spikes:
- Box Breathing: Inhale → hold → exhale → hold (4 seconds each).
- 5-4-3-2-1 Method: Identify
- 5 things you can see
- 4 things you can touch
- 3 things you can hear
- 2 things you can smell
- 1 thing you can taste
4. Rebuilding Self-Worth
- Replace negative self-talk with affirmations:
- “Who I am is valid.”
- “I am safe, I am worthy, and I belong.”
- Surround yourself with affirming voices — friends, therapists, and community.
- Celebrate small wins and milestones in your healing journey.
5. Finding Your Circle of Strength
- Engage with tools that help you reconnect with yourself.
- Explore journaling prompts and reflection exercises built for survivors.
- Join affirming communities that understand LGBTQ+ experiences.
Closing Note
“Your story isn’t defined by what broke you — but by how you rise, reclaim your truth, and step into your power.”
— Rick, The Rift with Rick