Who I Am & Why I Created This Space

Hi, I’m Rick—survivor, husband, and the voice behind The Rift with Rick. For a long time, I built a life around keeping the peace, even when it cost me myself. I grew up in the shadow of narcissistic abuse—learning to over‑perform and under‑need, to read a room while disappearing inside it.

Telling the truth—out loud, in my own words—has been my way back.

I didn’t know my father, and my mother’s love came with conditions. I didn’t have the words then, but I do now: narcissistic personality disorder can make a child disappear in plain sight.

A therapist finally urged me to step back for my own safety. While I was gone, my mother got sick and passed away. My family blamed me and closed the door. The grief and confusion nearly pulled me under. I didn’t want to die; I just couldn’t see how to live with that much rejection.

Later, a friendship that seemed supportive at first began to mirror my oldest wounds. What started as help turned into control—gaslighting, manipulation, and eventually violence. The night everything broke, something in me woke up. I saw the pattern and chose not to repeat it.

Healing hasn’t been pretty. It’s been real: therapy, boundaries, community. Gentle rituals that make a day feel possible—time with our dog, Elle (a husky–shepherd mix with one blue eye and one brown), jotting ideas, getting lost in good audiobooks. Piece by piece, I rebuilt the man I was always meant to be, not the version I was trained to perform. Today I’m clearer, kinder to myself, and deeply grateful for the ordinary miracles of life with Alan, my loving husband of two decades.

Silence keeps so many of us stuck. “The Rift” began as the crack that let air in—the space between the life I performed and the life I wanted to live.After years of gaslighting, words felt slippery. I needed a place to say things plainly, to name what had happened, and to hear back, “You’re not imagining this.” I couldn’t find a space that was survivor‑led without being sensational, or informed without being clinical. So I made one.

What lives here

• Honest essays from my own recovery
• Practical supports—boundary scripts, reflection prompts, gentle safety check‑ins
• Clear, compassionate explanations of patterns like narcissistic abuse and trauma bonds, in everyday language
• Stories from others who are healing, too

• Truth over performance
• Safety, consent, and privacy before clicks
• Hope that’s anchored to practice

“The Rift” isn’t therapy and can’t replace it, but it can be a steady companion alongside it. If you’re ready, start with the “Start Here” guide or “My Story.” If you’re not, you can simply breathe and read. The door stays open.

 — Rick, The Rift with Rick